Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sticky Note: Landmark Forum: Rants and Raves:

Did you write your experience about Landmark Education and the Forum in your blog?
You did est and you're remininsing? How's your life going? Got Forum rellies with enthusiasm? Got a Link to something interesting? To suggest a link, stick it in the comments section or email me. Audioblogging is free and easy! Leave an audio comment.

Wit and originality are admired.

Till LE staff contacted me this year to change a few links, which I was glad to do, I had left Landmark Forum: Rants and Raves frozen and dormant for the last 5 years, links had gone dead and not much new had been added, and in that time, spent my time on many other things, content to leave this site to sit as it was originally designed. It was designed to be text based, conserving of bandwidth and friendly to dial up uses, because we really didn't have widespread DSL back then.

But we do now. So much has changed in just the last 5 years. We have blogs, digital cameras and Web cams and mp3's and many people have fast internet connections. So its time to update the conversation, collect some of the newest content and move into the faster lane. We can add interviews, movies, audio posts, skits...

Part of this blog Non-sequitor will be devoted to documentation of the Landmark Experience culled from unofficial blogs and original material written or made after Jan 2005.

If you want to help add and search for new content, Drop me a note to get on the 'team'

As always, contributors may not be on LE staff, not a current volunteer, not an exit counselor, deprogrammer or cult critic because we refuse to blur the lines between commercials and commentary.

We'll be using some of the standards from Bloggers code of ethics.

"Distinguish between advocacy, commentary and factual information. Even advocacy writing and commentary should not misrepresent fact or context."

" Distinguish factual information and commentary from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two."

I opine that this is an example of where advertising is melted into a blog

If it ain't original, it will be ignored.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Hmm.Landmark Forum was this weekend.

From the post of stealthbanana, Hmm.Landmark Forum was this weekend.:


Landmark Forum was this weekend.

Fucking amazingly cool.

The best part? At the end when Michelle Casey, some random landmark guy who knew way too much about me, and Jan the forum leader all told me I _needed_ to assist. That I was so amazingly awesome that I had to assist.

And then Jan tells me "You know Joey, we need 30 more forum leaders and I think you have what it takes."

I was just blown away. I am amazing guys! I really am! Fuck yeah, bitches!

So I work for Landmark as a volunteer now. How cool is that?


2005-09-20 06:00
Ahh that's so cool...makes me happy to no end. Yay for us and for Landmark and for Jan and Michelle and life in general. Whee...

My Weekend of Possibiliy

From the post of Ms. Sky Bluez, My Weekend of Possibiliy:

My Weekend of Possibiliy

I must admit that I dreaded this past weekend. It wasn't that I was repeating the Landmark Forum it was knowing that I'd spend three long days (9am - 11pm) in conversation while sitting in a room with uncomfortable chairs. I resisted it as if it was like getting my fingernails pulled out with pliers. Of course, it was hardly like that.

So, what happened? If you want to know the dirty'll have to do the Forum yourself...but I'm going to put what I got out of participating in the Landmark Forum.

On Friday...we had to identify our "rackets" or the stories we make up about the things that happen in our lives. The term racket is used in the same manner as the phrase "running a racket" like gangsters do - yanno, the store front covering the underground casino? We also identified areas of our lives where we are being inauthentic.

*clearing my throat*

What I identified as my "rackets" are (in no particular order of importance):
  • No one ever listens to me
  • I am not appreciated for what I do
  • They think that I'm weak
  • I can't get it right
  • I'm not like them/I don't belong
  • I'm a doormat/too nice
Those are the stories that I have made up based on events that have happened through out my life. When I am running these rackets (playing these games), I'm not present to what's going on and there's a breakdown in communication. Of course, none of these rackets are true in's just the hand that I play.

What I identified as my inauthenticities vary, depending on who I'm inauthentic to. If I had to make a blanket statement about my inauthenticities, it would be that my "main one" is that I'm not self-expressed. What that means is that I don't always say what's on my mind or how I feel especially when I'm asked. That essentially means that in this area, I lie and pretend. What does this do? It makes me miserable and angry because I often do things that I don't want to do. It's also not fair to whomever my inauthenticity is directed to because I'm not being truthful and usually the misery and anger is unfairly directed at them.

Our homework for that evening share a possibility that I've created for myself out of my participation in the LF. In addition we had to write a letter to someone we were being inauthentic to by sharing the inauthenticity, it's impact and the possibility we've created for ourselves.

The letter that I had written was to one of my Sisters...I didn't read the letter to her, but I did get to share my inauthenticity, it's impact, and the possibility that I've created for myself and my life. The conversation that we had was powerful in that I created the possibility of being self-expressed at all times, and that we would recreate a loving relationship as we had (if not better) than before. I was able to share with her how much she and our friendship means to me and that I value her for who she is. I also made a commitment to be fully present and to honor my word. Needless to say, it was a weight lifted from my shoulders. Who knew that being truthful could feel so good?!

During that day, I also made it a point to contact my brother. It's inherent that you love your family, but how many times do we actually say it to one another? As long as I could remember, I had never told my brother that I loved him. My recollection of our interaction is that I'm usually barking and fussing at him. Of course, he's usually barking and fussing back. Nevertheless, we still love each other. I called my brother on Friday afternoon to tell him that I loved him. Initially it was weird and I'm sure he thought that I was smoking something, but I commenced to tell him how much I admired him for being such a brave person. Even though my brother is younger, I never have to worry about him because he knows how to survive. At least he makes it appear that he can survive. At the moment that my brother and I spoke on such an elevated level, we began a new journey of closeness that we've never experienced before. I'm truly grateful for that.

On Saturday, we delved more into what stops us from achieving what we want in life. The take home message is that what happens happens and that's all that happens and that life happens now. We also were asked to identify our "strong suits" those personality traits that make us successful, and where they came from.

What I identified as my strong suits are:
  • Reliable
  • Affectionate
  • Good Listener
  • Empathetic
  • Thoughtful
  • Insightful
  • Mature
  • Friendly
  • Intelligent/Smart

Over time, these are the personality traits that allow me to be successful in life. Something happened in my life that made me decide to develop these traits as defense mechanisms. For example, when I was younger, I was not much of an athlete. I couldn't double dutch very well, I couldn't run very fast, I could never hit a baseball. I was an utter failure in the area of sports. Because of that, I turned to music and academics as a place to divert my energy. It was an area of my life in which I've excelled, thus making intelligence/smart one of my strong suits. That was really basic as intelligence is relative.

On day 2, I also wrote another letter, this time to my Ex. I put it all out there that the reason I ceased communication with him is because I was being selfish and couldn't imagine the thought of being friends with someone I once had a romantic relationship with. I created the possibility of us being friends although we live separate lives. For me, it was liberating. I knew that all he wanted was to remain friends and I acted like a dork. Of course, you need time to get your act together after a break up, but I couldn't see that initially.

Day 3 is really where the meat of the course lies in my opinion. There's conversation about the "meaning" of life as well as sex, money, and love. You can only say so much about those topics. The take away that I got is that life's meaning is what you make it and that love is always around, you just have to be present to it. In regards to happens or not and that it doesn't mean anything if it doesn't. Pretty simple and common sense right? Of course, but when you're not living in these contexts, these are areas are easy generators of stress and emotional distress.

I will admit, taking the Landmark Forum is an act of sheer courage and bravery as you become privy to some things in your life that you rather not remember or that you prefer not to address. The reality is that there's nothing to "get" by taking the course in general, but what you "get" may change your view of life. I've heard people's opinion of LF, both people who have and have not taken the course and it's even been called a cult because people are happy and aren't letting bad things that have happened get them down. What they fail to understand is that nothing and everything happens and we give it meaning. Whatever it means to us is how we'll pattern our behavior. Plain and simple, yet not easy.

posted Monday, 19 September 2005

Are you "enrollable?" Get rid of your "racket...!"

From the post of lizerk@work, Are you "enrollable?" Get rid of your "racket...!:

August 02, 2005

Are you "enrollable?" Get rid of your "racket...!"

Last year I spent countless occasions patiently telling a friend of mine that I had absolutely no interest in attending The Landmark Forum. I was so sick of hearing about how she was having "breakthroughs" and learning to "let go."

(For those of you who don't know what The Landmark Forum cult is, click here.)

The worst was when she called me very early one Saturday morning out of the blue. It was to apologize for all of the times that she's ever been late to see me and that "it was selfish of her to take advantage of our friendship like that." I was a little taken aback because I had just woken up and she was speaking rapidly.

"What?" I asked groggily. "What are you talking about?"

"I need to release myself from my selfish behavior and I want to ask you to forgive me."

"Why are you calling me at this hour on a Saturday morning to seek forgiveness about being late? I don't care. You're never that late anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal. Where are you?"

"I'm at The Forum, but our break is almost over, so I have to go. But I felt it was important that I tell you that."

Not wanting to belittle something my friend felt was important, I simply said, "Okay, call me later." And hung up.

I had thought on it a moment, but then shrugged it off. My friend is totally into self-help stuff and trying to find something to give her life cause and meaning, so I figured that call had to have stemmed from one of those.

Following that phone call my friend tried using clever tactics to get me to attend "Forum informational gatherings" just about every time she saw me.

The first attempt preyed upon my weakness for sushi. "Hey, this guy from The Forum is holding an informational session. He's going to serve sushi and I know how much you like sushi. You should come and have some..."

No thank you. I'm busy that night...

The next attempt preyed upon my weakness for poking fun at 'the unfortunate clowns of society.' "Hey, after our workout tonight, this girl's having a get together of Forum people. Wanna go with me? It'd be fun. You'll meet some new people, plus there's some real 'interesting characters' that always show up. I bet you'd get a kick out of it..."

No thank you. I'm not really interested. Plus I'd feel bad going to something like that and pretending to want to know more when I really want nothing to do with it. I've been to Tony Robbins, that was enough in and of itself. (Though I have to admit, she almost got me that time... I howled with laughter at Tony Robbins in 2000 when my old company made me and a group of 7 others attend.

Some of the people that go to such seminars can be, well, quite dramatic. So it really was rather tempting to witness some more of the same...)

The third attempt was simply desperation. "God, I just feel like everything's been so much clearer to me lately. I love The Forum and I really think you should just come see what it's about. Really awesome..."

Ask me again and I'll slap you. I'm glad it works for you and I support you in anything that helps you find what you need in life. But I'm telling you, I'm not into that stuff. Knock it off.

Finally she really did knock it off. But she did get a mutual friend to go. And that poor friend said it was the most bizarre experience... "they wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom... so WEIRD..."

Since then, every so often I'd hear people talk about "The Forum." I'd just laugh and thankfully they were smart enough not to try and convince me to go. I really can't fathom paying $800 to listen to uncertified people tell me that I "need to let my demons go," not to mention that I couldn't go pee when I needed to.

Last week a good friend of mine went to brunch with an old college buddy to discuss some kind of fundraiser for their upcoming reunion. They're both class officers, so the goal was to put a plan in place. When I saw her out for dinner soon after I asked her how it went.

"It was okay," she answered. "We didn't really get much done."

"Oh yeah?" I grinned. "Catching up on the old days and gossip?"

"Sorta," she said. "It was mostly her talking about herself."


Yesterday my friend e-mailed me to say that on Wednesday she might be going to Brunch Girl's house for an "informational seminar" she's hosting.

I responded saying, "Cool, is it for your school reunion plans?"

She then wrote back saying no, that it was something that her friend said would "help her with communicating and relating with people. It's called The Landmark Forum."


Within seconds I had her on the phone. Ironically, just days earlier I had come across this website.

At the same time of calling her, I e-mailed the link. Luckily it wasn't hard to convince her not to go. One mention of "cult-like" and she was turned off.

Ugh, I LOATHE Landmark. I wish it would get shut down. I hate that they recruit people by pressuring members to go after close, trusted friends, followed by preying on their weaknesses.

I do, however, get a kick out of the "buzz words" that Landmark uses. As a PR practitioner, I have seen some brutal ones in my day such as "robust," "turnkey," "best-of-the-Web," etc. But Landmark wins, hands-down, with terms like "enrollable," "breakthroughs," "racket," "paradigm-shift," and "winning formulas."

In fact, how fun would it be to do PR for Landmark? A disappointing click on the media section of the official Landmark site indicates that the "fun" press releases stopped as of 2002. And what a shock, considering the opening statement in the final one:

February 18, 2002 – CHICAGO – Top 100 Expo has named Landmark Education’s The Landmark Forum number two in its list of Top 100 Adventures – second only to space travel.

Second only to space travel! Amazing. Does that mean Landmark participants are space cadets?? (Har har... come on now.)

The most recent article posted to their site was from October of 2004. I found it hard to believe that this was the most recent coverage. I mean, how is that possible if the only other exciting adventure next to Landmark is space travel?!

So I consulted with my friend Mr. Google. ....edit to remove link ... Landmark Forum is bigger and making more money than ever before. It has 52 offices in 21 countries and boasts that 145,000 people participate in its programs annually. I was told that before 9/11 they occupied an entire floor of one of the World Trade Center towers. Now they have quite a large operation at West 33rd St. near Penn Station.

Wow, I would love to talk with their Public Relations representative Nicole Clucus. Especially since her name is also connected to New York Women in Communications, Inc. Is that how Landmark is so successful? Do they sponsor other organizations to draw unsuspecting members in? Hmmm...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Tin Foil Hats Posted by Picasa

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Ode and Celebration of Divergent Thinking.

Divergent Thinking Abilities

creative thinking and behaviors

Adapted and modified from the works of Williams, F. E.

Creative production is often characterized by the divergent nature of human thought and action. Divergence is usually indicated by the ability to generate many, or more complex or complicated, ideas from one idea or from simple ideas or triggers. Traditionally the eight elements below are ones commonly thought of as inherent elements of creative production, as well as attributes associated with creative problem solving abilities.

Fluency � The ability to generate a number of ideas so that there is an increase of possible solutions or related products.

Flexibility - The ability to produce different categories or perceptions whereby there are a variety of different ideas about the same problem or thing.

Elaboration � The ability to add to, embellish, or build off of an idea or product.

Originality � The ability to create fresh, unique, unusual, totally new, or extremely different ideas or products

Complexity � The ability to conceptualize difficult, intricate, many layered or multifaceted ideas or products.

Risk-taking � The willingness to be courageous, adventuresome, daring -- trying new things or taking risks in order to stand apart.

Imagination � The ability to dream up, invent, or to see, to think, to conceptualize new ideas or products � to be ingenious.

Curiosity � The trait of exhibiting probing behaviors, asking and posing questions, searching, being able to look deeper into ideas, and the wanting to know more about something.

Throwing down the Landmark Gauntlet

easily seduced krista. Blog entry before Forum

easily seduced krista. [17 Mar 2004|01:43am]
[ mood | cynical ]
[ music | tlc ]

michelle is convinced that i will be completley brainwashed this weekend.
i dont blame her.
i think i am also.
so we are going to spend extra time together while im still "normal krista".
its my families money.
i cant say no.
im a stupid cunt.

spent my afternoon sleeping and then got woken up by crystal.
later went to visit her and we ate niland chinese food.
i like the pink juice.

drove back home and lingered around michelle while she put up videos.
came home cleaned and talked to isaac.
he wants to get some tattoos done next week with me and michelle.
he suggested we do something together this weekend.
i think he feels sorry for me.

and now i sleep.

life is empty and meaningless

life is empty and meaningless.
[25 Mar 2004|09:56pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | hoobastank-the reason. ]

so my room floor cannot be seen due to the GIANT amount of clothes, trash, and plenty of other shit and i couldnt be happier.
i now have one of the crappiest low paying job calipat has to offer and i couldnt be happier.
nothing can really or has come close to phazing me in the past few days.
i have grown more as a person in this last weekend than i have ever in my entire life before.
i dont know where to start but it all became clear to me on sunday night in san diego while sitting in that big room in that extremley uncomfortable chair among 120 extrodarinary people...and then it became clear to me...
my life is now empty and meaningless.

it all started friday morning around 6:00 am.
my cousin rosa drove me to foggy san diego and talked about this amazing breakthrough in my life that was, little did i know, about to happen. it all sounded really foriegn to me. she spoke about the course as though it was almost holy and the most important and moving thing that i could do for myself right now.
i couldnt have been anymore cynical if i tried. but i was willing because ive seen this amazing change in her that i couldnt deny and i knew she loved me enough to not let me down or lie to me.

that morning i met this pair of complelety perfect strangers. angela and jackie. my cousins friends of friends of friends. it was arranged that i stay with their family while i took the course, and i was devasted but excited at the same time.

it was 8 am and everyone took their seats. i could feel the anticipation as a tall, skinny, all too boring looking white man took the stage. this was Barry. my landmark fourm speaker. during the first day which soon turned into a long, sleepy, tiring night he set down the rules for us and threw hundreds of new terms, rules, and concepts in our faces. there was something too calm about this guy too assured. "My sole purpose for this weekend is your breakthrough. it will happen. all you have to do is be coachable." i couldnt help but fall asleep. this is why i dont remember too much about the first night, except for being driven to some complete strangers house and feeling more alone and sad than ever before. like a "oh my god im in a place ive never been before with people i just met today and arent all that nice and theres no one coming to save me" type of alone. i made some phone calls home and was so happy to hear michelles voice.

the next day, Saturday, started out slow. Barry explained we were going to get the forum in portions. "Yesterday you got five percent of your landmark experience, today youll get about 30 of it, then sunday is 60 percent, and finally tuesday night youll get the last and most critical 5 percent. The day consited mostly of questions. we listened to his stories of past forums and what previous participants shared about their pasts. and he did too. he talked about the first time taking the forum when he live back home in virginia in order to seek a new perspective after his divorce was final. he claimed his experience saved his mariage and moved him so much to leave his real estate job and take on becoming a speaker for landmark. he talked about his kids and fought back tears knowing that if it wasnt for his experience he woud have thrown them all away. i myself didnt really see any life changing moments happening soon. i simply wanted some motivation before i started school again. but i couldnt help but want what he had, "A life open to possibilites and deep, passionate, extrodinary, loving, meaningful relationships with our families and friends."

We began with talking about our past and experiences growing up. we paired with the people next to us and talked about a significant experience in our lives that left us deeply impacted growing up. He claimed that everything and that has ever happend to us determined who we are today, not because thats just something that happens, but because we decided it. Barry explained the concept of "Stories", and how everyone had significant moments in their lives growing up that affected the way you thought about things, people, and yourself profoundly. only it wasnt the actual experience that altered your thininking and emotions, but it was they way you interpreted it thereofere creating a story about it. most people didnt buy it until, he started proving everyone wrong.

and then i thought about my experience with jossue the previous week and how awful it left me feeling. i remember walking to a party with michelle and witnessing him with another girl being all over each other. i thought about it long and hard and then realized that not only did him being with another girl have nothing to do with me as a person but in reality had no good valid reason to keep me from living a happy life. i could simply know that this occurance was just something that happened. not something that was true to the story that i had wrote about it..."he did this to hurt me because he dosent care about me and wants me sad." then i realized how powerful that was. i now could now live in a world where you have a choice about how thing affect you, because in reality nothing really is its just the way you occurs to you. jossue occured to me as a guy who was out to hurt me, when in reality he wasnt or isnt, thats just the way he occured to me.

when this conversation was over we were encouraged to call everyone on our break that we wrote stories about and make it "complete" with them. this was probably the hardest part of the course. but after phoning jossue and explaining how making it complete with him was something that i had to do for myself , and hearing him tell me everything was okay felt like a billion pounds had been lifted off of me. it was powerful to take that control back. now it was starting.

sunday seemed to move by really quick for me. it now all seems like a blur to but i remember coming to a lot of conclusions about how id been making my dad, mom and brother "wrong" about a lot of things. i took in consideration that mabye if i made it complete with them i could move on and become somone new. something compleltey new to me. Barry explained that everything started with a conversation and how "enrolling"- (to touch, move and inspire someone) people would become easy. all you had to do was become purily authentic and present with them and in return it was only automatic that they be enrolled in the possibilities you could now create for yourself and your life around you. all it took was being genuine and they would respond. we also talked about intergrity-(saying what you do, and doing what you say) and how our world is slowly falling into a piece of crap because of the complete lack of it.

so to put it simply i left the landmark forum complelty free from my past and am left with nothing. nothing is powerful. because once you have nothing you have the power and ability to do anything. and therefore once i thought about it, life is now empty and meaningless. meaningless in a way, that i now see having the power to give everything in my life new meaning instead of the meanings that i thought were just automatic. and once i realized this everything all the sudden became really quiet, because that little voice inside my head that was always influencing me with reasonable and automatic thoughts finally shut up. i could now create any possibilites i wanted for myself, and my life around me. because now i have gained so much. including being so compeltley present in every moment because i learned the past has already happend, and the future has come yet, the only time i have is right now.

and with that comes having a really great passionate, exciting, new life.
i cannot help but feel like im 3 years old again because i feel as though everythings new to me.
my house looks different.
driving is really intense.
and everyone and everything i encounter i really see and experience now.

i cannot wait till michelle does it soon. i cant help but want all of my friends and family to do it now because i love them all and want them to have this experience and get what i got out of it.

i want to enroll everyone in my new possiblitiy im inveting for myself of being a loving, healthy, bold, and unreasonable person.

From the Cape Cod Times. Got Cult?

"Has anyone had a friend or family member get involved in a cult, even those that may appear respectable such as Scientology or Landmark Education? [For cult characteristics, I am cut-and-pasting from the Rick Ross Institute website: Psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton, who wrote the definitive book about thought reform (often called "brainwashing") also wrote a paper about cult formation. Lifton defined a cult as having the following three characteristics:"

long discussion ensues. click title for link

Sunday, August 14, 2005

an extraordinary departure: almost got arrested

mmonk (mmonk) wrote:


an extraordinary departure: almost got arrested

i took a day off from work to attend the 3-day landmark forum. the programme was scheduled take place from 09:00 to 23:30 over the 3-day period. at 13:45, escorted by two policemen, i made my high-profile exit. if i'd ever enter the building again, i would be arrested for trespassing.

why this attempt to 'transform' myself to be an 'extraoridnary' person ended so abruptly? it's all because of this picture.

landmark education basement room #1A, 318A W 33rd street, 10:30, 20-aug-04.

apparently, pictures were not allowed during the forum. the programme moderator tried to talk to me privately after seeing me play with my camera, but i refused to talk to him. later, he brought in the manager of the ny landmark forum. they threatened to call the police if i didn't leave. i thought that i was so bored at the forum anyway and that it could be quite interesting to make a scene.

one thing i was confused, the leader kept saying the importance of transforming and becoming extraordinary as if people who didn't participate in this programme were degraded and that we, pedestrian people, must take the landmark forum to become better (and perhaps extraordinary). he used gandhi as an example to demonstrate how an ordinary person became extraordinary. really? sorry but i believe that some people are born extraordinary.

anyway, i am pretty sure i am on the black list now...

6 shanthi:

Nagoyan chanted...

way to go babe!
this forum sounds like a religious group - if you don't follow Jesus, you'll go to hell!

20/8/04 16:58
Matthew chanted...

Thanks for visiting my site. I got the greek divers pic from:


21/8/04 13:46
Anonymous chanted...

The Landmark forum is nothing else but a sect ! A French journalist managed to take part in that 3-days forum in Paris with a hidden camera... Not only people are humiliated but they are even not allowed to leave the room. Isn't it enough to understand that this organisation is a sect...?



27/8/04 09:44
Anonymous chanted...

More information on the landmark forum investigation(if you can read French) :


27/8/04 10:14
mmonk chanted...

if landmark forum is not about "what you know that you know" and not about "what you know that you don't know" but "works in the realm of what you don't know you don't know"... then, rumsfeld must be a graduate.

1/9/04 12:05
Anonymous chanted...

BRILLIANT! Thank you for anything you can do to disrupt this hideous cult that preys on people with low self exteem and sucks what little (or lotta) money they have. My family has had a terrible time because my sister is so brainwashed by these people that she's been practically robbing my mother whose income (barring help from her sons) is almost at poverty level. ANYTHING anyone can do to eradicate the brainwashing cults of the world: Christian or "Personality / Psuedo-Self Help" groups that take over a person's life. We were raised Southern Baptist as if that wasn't bad enough -- so out of one fire and into hell with Landmark. You are my hero!

24/9/04 17:56

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Wait, wait WAIT!

i_am_haunted ([info]i_am_haunted) wrote,
@ 2005-08-03 01:09:00

/ \
Previous Entry Add to memories! Next Entry
\ /
Wait, wait, WAIT!
My life is starting to move faster than I can keep up. LA was great, as always. Disneyland was amazing. I'm going back just as soon as I can.
I'm attending Landmark Forum in a few weeks. This scares the shit out of me because I don't like crowds and I feel I'll be facing my demons. Very scary. But maybe it's time. This changed my best friends life. I think it's going to change mine, too.

All this coupled with the possibility of being gone in three weeks makes my head spin.


livejournal blog by Henry_thefirst
henry_thefirst ([info]henry_thefirst) wrote,
@ 2005-07-27 21:51:00


My mother and I just got into a heated exchange. I am refusing to go to a self help clinic called "Landmark Forum" because I still believe in personal responsibility. My mother informed me that I am one of the most screwed up people she knows. I said "bullshit, mom! I get good grades, I don't do drugs, I drink moderately, I've not gotten a girl pregnant. I am happy with my life, I have a good honest, hardworking job, and good friends and people who care about me". She replied "you feel no personal responsibility towards your family".

That comment struck a very deep nerve. I try, but not hard enough to make my living at this house more than just taking up space and demanding food. But I always have been a horrible son, always been hurting this family more than helping. I just am torn apart about what is going on.

Both my parents went to this forum, and it helped them out incredibly. But they are older, have had more chances in their life to reflect and look upon the things that have caused them problems in their lives. I am twenty years old, I havn't done nearly enough crap in my life that I need to get sorted out. I just think me going to this would just be a supreme waste of time and money.

But the greater issue here is that I hate being told what to do. I hate it. I like to feel that I have some type of control over my life and how I spend my time. But my parents just signed me up for this thing, paid the bill, and expect me to go. My mother said that if I don't go, it just proves that I "have no integrity".


When my father gets home, I'm bound for a whole world of trouble. This is just stupid.

Friday, August 12, 2005

So Tired, Today is the first day of my Forum

From the blog of...
The Random Meandering Ramblings of a Semi-Mad Network Admin


Edit Tags
Add to Memories
Landmark Forum - Day 1
A couple of thoughts popped up for me during the forum that I put into the "notes" section of my phone. Now, we're not really supposed to take notes in the course, but I only took these two in the 14 hours I was there.

"To get to the other side" and "There is no two"

"To get to the other side" is, obviously, the best known punch line for "Why did the chicken cross the road." In Brian's explanation / apology at the end of Nuklear Age, he mentions that jokes are funny because the punchline is the unexpected. "To get to the other side" has transcended almost to the realm of meta-humor, because it's simultaneously expected and unexpected, and it knows it. When someone asks "Why did the chicken cross the road?" you instantly think "To get to the other side" but you supress that, expecting some other punchline. "To get away from the oven" or something. Instead, you get what you least expect, "To get to the other side"

After reading Brian's words about it, I got it intellectually. I understood that it was funny, and why it was funny, but it wasn't really funny to me. Something happened early on in the day and it clicked. I grokked "To get to the other side" and had to supress my laughter so as not to disturb the group.

The second comes from much later in the day, and i'm not sure if it's really worth re-creating ...

We were engaged in the discussion about distinction, and what it means to be distinct. We were learning the Landmark use of "distinction" by getting distinct the distinction of "two" The leader started this by declaring "Forget everything you know about numbers. Forget about two. There is no two" which reminded me of that episode of Futurama where bender is becoming a were-car (I belive) and has a nightmare about 1's and 0's and a 2. Fry comforts him by saying "There there Bender. There's no such thing as two"

Now? Bed time. gotta figure out some sort of non-starbucks-frozen-coffee morning beverage... I could go with the Iced Mochas I like from Noa Noa Espresso & News, but that'd add about 20 minutes to the drive ... maybe Peaberry has something ...